Late-Identified Giftedness: When You Finally Understand Yourself
SERIES 2: The Gifted Adult Journey
Part 1 of 5: Late-Identified Giftedness: When You Finally Understand Yourself
Have you ever felt like you're living with a secret, even from yourself? Like there's a part of you that just doesn't quite fit, a "too muchness" that makes you feel both intensely alive and profoundly alone? For many gifted adults and twice-exceptional (2e) adults, this persistent feeling of being different isn't a flaw, but a quiet, unacknowledged echo of adult giftedness. And for a surprising number, this profound realization, this start of a gifted adult journey, comes not in childhood, but much later in life.
If you're reading this, you might be on the cusp of a significant discovery: the understanding that your lifelong inner experience, those "quirks" you've tried to hide or explain away, are actually signs of a highly capable, deeply complex, and late-identified gifted mind. This journey of understanding yourself can be transformative.
Signs of Adult Giftedness Often Missed
Giftedness in adults doesn't always look like straight A's or early career success. In fact, it often manifests in ways that can be easily misinterpreted or even pathologized. You might recognize yourself in some of these subtle, yet persistent, signs that point to adult giftedness:
Intense Curiosity and Insatiable Learning: Do you find yourself diving deep into obscure topics, sometimes to the point of obsession? Do you feel a constant hunger for knowledge that traditional education might not have satisfied?
Heightened Emotional and Sensory Sensitivity: Do loud noises, strong smells, or intense emotions overwhelm you easily? Do you feel things more deeply than those around you, making you prone to empathy and, at times, emotional exhaustion?
Complex Inner World: Do you spend a lot of time in your own head, thinking deeply about abstract concepts, philosophical questions, or intricate scenarios? Do you often feel like your thoughts are racing or constantly making connections others miss?
Perfectionism and a Strong Sense of Justice: Do you hold yourself and others to high standards? Are you deeply bothered by injustice or inefficiency, often feeling compelled to correct or improve things?
Divergent Thinking and "Out-of-the-Box" Solutions: Do you naturally see multiple solutions to a problem, often feeling frustrated when others only see one? Do you struggle with routine or rigid structures because your mind craves innovation?
Feeling "Different" or an "Outsider": Despite efforts to fit in, do you often feel fundamentally different from your peers, as if you're speaking a different language? This sense of alienation can be a hallmark of unrecognized adult giftedness.
Underachievement or Career Dissatisfaction: Did you coast through school, finding it unchallenging? Do you find yourself bored or unfulfilled in roles that don't engage your full intellectual capacity, even if they're "successful" by conventional standards?
The Relief and Grief of Late Discovery
Discovering your late-identified giftedness as an adult can trigger a powerful cascade of emotions.
First, there's often immense relief. It's the feeling of finally putting words to a lifelong inner experience. "Oh! So that's what this is!" The fragmented pieces of your identity, those "too muchness" moments and inexplicable complexities, suddenly click into a cohesive picture. Your sensitivity isn't a flaw; it's a profound capacity for empathy. Your intense curiosity isn't obsessive; it's a powerful drive for understanding. Your feeling of being an outsider isn't a social failing; it's a reflection of a unique neurological wiring. This understanding can be profoundly validating, allowing you to breathe a sigh of knowing acceptance.
Yet, alongside the relief, there can also be a significant wave of grief. Grief for the years spent misunderstanding yourself, battling invisible struggles, or feeling "broken." Grief for missed opportunities – the education that didn't challenge you, the careers that didn't ignite your passion, the relationships strained by a lack of mutual understanding. You might mourn the "what ifs," the pathways you didn't take because you lacked this crucial self-awareness. This grief is a natural and necessary part of the gifted adult journey, allowing you to process the past before stepping fully into your present.
Reframing Your "Quirks" as Gifts
This journey of late discovery is an invitation to reframe your "quirks" as gifts and transform your entire narrative. Those characteristics you once viewed as liabilities – your intensity, your sensitivity, your insatiable curiosity – are, in fact, your greatest strengths. They are the hallmarks of a mind designed for depth, complexity, and profound connection.
Your "overthinking" is deep processing. You see nuances and connections others miss, leading to innovative solutions and profound insights.
Your "sensitivity" is profound empathy and awareness. You feel the world deeply, allowing for rich experiences and authentic connections.
Your "perfectionism" is a drive for excellence and mastery. You are naturally drawn to high standards and meaningful work.
Your "intensity" is passion and vigor. When you're engaged, you bring incredible energy and focus to your endeavors.
Embracing these traits as gifts, rather than flaws, can unlock tremendous potential for realignment and reinvention.
Explore and Empower Your Gifted Self
This newfound understanding is just the beginning. It's a powerful catalyst for change, enabling you to live more authentically and intentionally as a gifted adult.
To deepen your self-understanding, consider exploring these foundational resources:
"The Gifted Adult" by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen (Jacobsen, 1999): A classic text that explores the unique challenges and triumphs of gifted adults.
"Living with Intensity" by Susan Daniels and Michael Piechowski (Daniels & Piechowski, 2009): This book delves into the concept of "overexcitabilities," a key aspect of giftedness that explains heightened sensitivities.
Other Resources
Giftedness Assessment & Community Resources
Ready to explore your unique potential further? Understanding yourself is the first step toward a life that truly aligns with who you are. Here’s a curated collection of giftedness assessment options and supportive communities tailored to gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) adults:
Assessment & Coaching Resources
Embracing Intensity: Offers an in-depth guide to adult gifted and 2e evaluations, methods to differentiate giftedness from other conditions, and practical tips for finding a qualified assessor.
Rediscovering Yourself / InterGifted: Co-led by experts Jennifer Harvey Sallin and Michelle Quarton, this international initiative offers qualitative assessments, coaching, and community-building for gifted adults.
Neuropsychological assessments for gifted and 2e adults in Washington State:
Offers therapy and testing for gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) adults in Seattle. Their testing services can help clarify cognitive strengths, differentiate traits, guide interventions, and foster self-understanding.
Puget Sound Psychology & Consulting: Provides comprehensive psychological and consultation services to children, teens, and adults, including psychological and neuropsychological assessment, educational, early entrance & gifted testing.
The Learn Clinic at the University of Washington: Offers comprehensive neuropsychological assessment services to understand cognitive strengths and weaknesses, including those related to learning and attention problems.
Specializes in neuropsychological testing and evaluation services for adults 18 and older, including assessing cognitive functions and helping diagnose conditions such as ADHD and autism. They are also an approved provider for Washington State Labor and Industries (L&I).
Northwest Gifted Child Association: Lists several psychologists who test for giftedness, including some in Washington state.
With Understanding Comes Calm: Offers holistic, personalized consultations and support to gain insight into intensity, perfectionism, and sensitivities common among gifted individuals.
Online Communities & Support Groups
Bright Insight Support Network: Includes resources, assessment links, and a monthly free “Table Talk” virtual gathering for neurodivergent adults, including gifted/2e profiles.
InterGifted Peer Community: A moderated, global network of 900+ gifted adults engaging in self-discovery, leadership, book-study groups, and mutual support since 2015 (intergifted.com).
Bloomers (via Bright Insight): A safe, inclusive Facebook group where gifted and 2e adults can discuss identity, neurodiversity, and lived experience (Bright Insight).
SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted): A well-established nonprofit offering local/online support groups, training for facilitators, and community networks focused on emotional wellbeing (SENG).
Giftedness.Online: A centralized hub offering reading, research, and a forum for gifted adults.
Hoagies’ Gifted Online Communities: Lists multiple forums (including 2e-focused groups), mailing lists, and support channels for adults and families involved in giftedness (hoagiesgifted.org).
Twice-Exceptional Network International: A Facebook group connecting parents, professionals, and adults to share 2e experiences and strategies (Bright Insight).
GT‑Adults Mailing List: A longstanding email discussion list for gifted adults exploring identity, community, and life transitions.
Next Steps
Choose your path — start with self-guided community support or jump into formal assessment & coaching.
Join a group — you might start with Bloomers (FB) or the GT‑Adults list for immediate peer connection.
Peek inside — attend a Bright Insight Table Talk (they're free!), or investigate InterGifted’s membership.
Pursue clarity if needed — book an evaluation via resources like Embracing Intensity or Oakland Neuropsychology when you're ready.
Integrate gift-revealing strategies — use coaching or group programs (SENG, InterGifted) to harness your full potential.
Seek out more knowledge about being gifted.
References
Daniels, S., & Piechowski, M. M. (Eds.). (2009). Living with intensity: Understanding sensitivities, excitabilities, and emotional development in gifted children, adolescents, and adults. Great Potential Press.
Jacobsen, M. E. (1999). The gifted adult: A revolutionary guide for liberating everyday genius. Ballantine Books.
Want to Know for Sure?
If you suspect you might be gifted — or 2e — consider exploring a formal or informal giftedness assessment. Check out our curated assessment resources above, or here →
Giftedness isn’t about achievement. It’s about wiring. And discovering your wiring isn’t self-indulgent — it’s self-liberating.
You don’t have to keep adapting to a life that was never built for you.
You can start building one that is.
Coming Next week: Series 3, Article 1 – "What Nobody Tells You About Relational Trauma"
"Late-Identified Giftedness: When You Finally Understand Yourself" kicks off Part 1 of our five-part series, The Gifted Adult Journey. In this series, we’ll explore the perfectionism, impostor syndrome, and emotional defenses that often shape the inner world of gifted adults.
Coming next in the SERIES 2: The Gifted Adult Journey
Part 2 of 5 – "Perfectionism vs. Excellence: The Gifted Adult's Dilemma"
Publishing Tuesday, August 12, 2025. Stay with us as we continue the journey.